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Mike: I saw Total Recall in a science lesson when I was 12.
Owain: you saw it at school?
Mike: yeah in fact that should be one of my two truths and a lie
Mike: ...like driverless cars but women with three tits, I haven't seen many of them got to say
Owain: ...but here you've got your typical electric scooters, you’ve got these little things that are just, you just stand on and they go along; you've got like something that's just like a little wheel and you have your feet go either side of it; there’re a few other things I've seen which all of them are slightly different.
Mike: So Owain, if I once said to you that I once fell off a running machine in a gym…
Owain: hahahahahaha!
Mike: ...your reaction is to laugh
Owain: I'd laugh, yeah
Mike: right
Owain: Is this true or false?
Mike: So, is this true or false. That's where I'm going with that.
Owain: well look the idea is you’ve got to go through all three all of them and I've gotta... I gotta make a decision
Mike: you want me to give you three? Ok.
Owain: yeah go on then
Mike: Right, so, so, I once had an eyebrow piercing, errr, is number one. we doing two or three? Three?
Owain: you have to do three
Mike: three okay
Owain: yeah
Mike: So I once had an eyebrow piercing. I once found my cousin’s soiled underpants underneath my granny's bed.
Owain: [pause] oh God!
Mike: I know hahaha... it's quite foul... that one. that one was quite foul. and and and, err
Owain: I'm just absorbing... I’m just absorbing that one
Mike: yeah...and the last one is...
Owain: is your cousin going to listen to this? Sorry, go on.
Mike: possibly possibly...and then the last one is I love celery absolutely love it can’t get enough of it
Owain: Ok. So let’s just recap. so first one was you once fell off a running machine
Mike: oh we've got four. how have we done this?
Owain: uh, the second one was you found your cousins soiled underpants under the bed under your under your granny's bed
Mike: yep
Owain: the third one you love celery
Mike: love celery. I put celery in everything
Owain: have I missed one?
Mike: no, so we going to I'm going to scrap the eyebrow piercing
Owain: oh okay yes...that was true
Mike: that's a bonus one
Owain: that was actually true
Mike: it was true. I used to have... inspired by the show Heartbreak High, I used to have a a an eyebrow piercing rather like the character Drazic. And I...I thought it was really cool. and then I took... I went home, saw my dad, er, shortly after I'd had it done and hahaha I'm not exaggerating, he didn't... he refused to look at my eye, he looked down at my feet, and haha, he was just in complete denial that I'd had it done for months...
Owain: he wouldn't look at you?
Mike: he wouldn't look at me... he wouldn't look at me... he’d avert his gaze so that he'd, um, he did not have to make eye contact. basically it didn't go down very well he didn't he didn't approve, yeah, very traditional dad
Owain: well, I under... I understand...I... I'd probably react the same way
Mike: do you?
Owain: yeah, absolutely
Mike: yeah, would you?...if Martin had a piercing on eye
Owain: absolutely
Mike: hahaha
Owain: well actually no….I...piercing... depends how old he is... how old were you?
Mike: I wasn't six... I mean, that wasn't... don't get me wrong... it wasn't like I'd being a 6 year old and I went home...I went and got a piercing and then went home and said Dad hi...no I was more like 18... 19
Owain: I think that's probably true as well cuz I could actually imagine you doing that... but the...the...hahaha…
Mike: thanks mate
Owain: I really can imagine you doing that, er, and I'd have a good laugh about it
Mike: um, true... I fell off a running machine. I fell off a running machine because I closed my eyes and wanted... I... I didn't want to be in the gym at that particular moment... it was very hot and stuffy and I just didn't want to be in the gym...so I close my eyes and pretended or imagined that I was somewhere else... maybe in a nice forest somewhere...um, and of course I fell... I just...I came out of kilter with the... with my rhythm... so I fell off the back and the next thing I know I've got three big alpha male gym guys leaning over me and going “ all right mate do you want some help?”
Owain: how did you feel?
Mike: I felt very small indeed... I felt really tiny
Owain: a bit embarrassed?
Mike: mortified
Owain “first day in the gym mate?”
Mike: yeah exactly, it was totally like that: “ all right mate... you just have to press this button...it’s fine“
Owain: “this is called a running machine”...ok, yeah...and then the granny... your, your cousin's pants?...Oh God man
Mike: yeah I was... that was not a pleasant discovery
Owain: why were they there? why were they there?
Mike: I haven't asked my cousin... I haven't had that conversation
Owain: so you haven't talked about it?
Mike: I haven't talked about it. it remains a secret to this day
Owain: until now
Mike: until now... it's out... it's out the bag... the cat is out of the bag... I've told my mate... yeah
Owain: well hold, aren’t we, aren’t we... going to upload this to the Internet...and um
Mike: Shit! Yeah, we are... it's out for anybody who will listen, including my cousin. moving on...
Owain: Ok. yep
Mike: Celery is a food that I wouldn't... I’d, I'd... struggle to eat actually. I wouldn't...if if if... I was shipwrecked and I came off the sh... boat and I had nothing to eat but I stumbled across a field of celery, I'd have to think twice about eating it... because it's that bad… but I also
Owain: what would you eat then? bugs or cockroaches or something like that instead?
Mike: I'd forage for, for anything I could get my hands on
Owain: grubs
Mike: grubs ...exactly... because I just I just really don't don’t like the stuff
Owain: yeah I used to I used to hate celery...my brother used to love it... and nowadays I really enjoy it. I like a piece of celery. I love the crunch
Mike: do you?
Owain: you you dip it in a bit of salt and it's lovely, yeah, yeah, I don't know when...when that changed but now I really like it
Mike: it's funny isn't it the changes of our taste buds... your turn... do you want a go?
Owain: yeah okay...I'll go through these pretty quickly…
Mike: Hold on, hold on. that deserves one of these. Very well done you got all of them right.
Owain: was that clapping?
Mike: it was yeah
Owain: it sounded like somebody rattling some stones in a in a bucket... just how it sounds to me
Mike: I'll have a word with the manufacturers of the sound machine I don't think that's that's one of them but there’s definitely a picture of some hands together
Owain: I'd forgotten about your sound box... what's it called, a sound box
Mike: it's a sound machine
Owain: a sound machine?
Mike: yeah... it has 16 sounds
Owain: okay well get your boos ready Cuz I think I'm going to get get this wrong
Mike: ok
Owain: I can't believe... we mentioned this earlier... and I can't believe you don't remember my first thing which is...um... when... basically I went with a a group of friends... maybe about 10 years ago here in Madrid we went on a trip bungee jumping and we got all the way there and I was one of two people who got right up to the point of jumping and I couldn't do it I couldn’t do it...that's the first one.
Mike: Right.
Owain: The second one is that as you know I used to be a choir boy and in around about the early nineties I sang the solo of Ave Maria at the blessing of a very famous person a guy called Gordon Sumner otherwise known as…
Mike: I don't know
Owain: Er, Sting...Sting
Mike: Ah, is that his name is it?
Owain: Yeah
Mike: Sting the musician
Owain: yeah Sting the musician exactly So that's my second one. and then the third one, er, is I am a green belt in Shotokan karate
Mike: I'm speechless. Um, all of those three could be true so…
Owain: Yeah
Mike: that's it that's it that's a good one I mean
Owain: what do you think?
Mike: I'm inclined to think that you you did get to the point where you going to do a bungee jump but then you thought this isn't going to be much fun...it's not actually...I don't want to do this...I don't want to pretend I'm going to die and then go ah oh I'm going to die I’m not really that was fun I don't think you're that kind of person I don’t think you’d get your thrills in such a cheap way... so I think that's true I think you had second thoughts
Owain: Ok.
Mike: Erm, I also think that you sung...cuz I know you got a lovely voice I know that you were a cute little choirboy when you were younger...so I think you did sing at Sting’s..what was it?...blessing…
Owain: yeah it wasn't his actual wedding it was at his Blessing which was in a church it was kind of like a wedding but they got married beforehand and then had the the blessing of the wedding in church…
Mike: did you get to hang out afterwards? chew the fat?
Owain: I shook his hand and said hello but I'm not a great conversationalist at the best of times but as a twelve-year-old boy I was just...I didn’t actually know who he was…
Mike: is that why we're doing a podcast?
Owain: yeah exactly... oh yeah that's funny isn't it?... but I didn't know who he was... I didn't know whose Sting was
Mike: right okay well that makes it even more credible I think that is correct I think that's true I think that’s exactly why I think it's true and the third one I think is false because I don't know I've never heard of this thing karate...I don't think it exists…
Owain: you've never heard of karate?
Mike: I know karate exist...haha... never heard of karate?
Owain: I think it's a conspiracy, hahaha... all this talk of karate
Mike: I do think it exists
Owain: it's all lies
Mike: ...But I think that particular one
Owain: Karate Kid, Daniel-son...It was all a fabrication
Mike: exactly it never existed all that Karate [inaudible]...but I... tell me again what was the particular karate that you said…
Owain: I am a green belt in Shotokan karate...I mean who wants to be a green belt in karate?
Mike: well because I think that everybody gets that right? I mean I could be a green belt just get given a green belt
Owain: I don't think so... no I don't think so
Mike: No?
Owain: well you have got to start with white first
Mike: want first is it? okay yeah... and you're talking to someone who knows nothing about...
Owain: and then yellow and green and then...no sorry yellow then orange and then I think it's green
Mike: okay
Owain: but I think you yeah I don't think you’d get passed yellow...you’d get onto the yellow plateau and stay there…
Mike: and stay there
Owain: you're not a violent person Mike... as you always say to me you're a lover not a fighter
Mike: I am it's true I am I I never got passed that Michael Jackson song to be honest it gave me words of wisdom for life
Owain: what year was that?
Mike: yeah before all of the yeah oh God...that's another conversation... we won't go into that...erm, and I I think... I'm just going to go with my gut instinct so I'll say I think that particular one is...well is it?... no, I think maybe you were at someone else's christi...er, singing, because I know you've sung... you've sung in a film I know you sang in Four Weddings and a Funeral
Owain: yep, actually I didn't sing I just stood up...I didn't actually have to sing anything I just stood up...that was it
Mike: don't be modest
Owain: 2 days of filming I know what I had to do is stand up once
Mike: yeah but you can just say to people I was in Four Weddings and a funeral and you are the shot
Owain: yeah you can see me
Mike: but they lip-sync you
Owain: no I don't sing
Mike: oh you don't sing at all
Owain:
Mike: it's just a shot of a choir
Owain: yeah I don't know if at some point a choir does sing but...I suppose so... but I didn't sing
Mike: right... was it was it fun being an extra at the age
Owain: it was a lot of hanging around... a bit boring really... I enjoyed the money I got about 80 pounds a day...80 quid a day
Mike: well that's a lot of money when your 9
Owain: yeah, yeah especially in 1992 in...92, 91
Mike: were you part of an extras agency? did that lead to other work?
Owain: no no they just contacted the, er, the school because it was a choir school and, erm, we went up for a couple of days to London
Mike: Okay so let me do a little bit of digging then on that middle sort of lie... did you? how did you get that gig? how did you end up in…?
Owain: just through the school...because I was at a school with a choir and they contacted the school and...
Mike: Why did they contact... what so every film and every pop star just contacts this one choir to be like... were you world famous?
Owain: well we were a professional choir I mean I don't know how many other choirs there are but...we did quite a lot of… we did a lot of weddings, funerals...
Mike: I can imagine
Owain: I got paid a fair bit of money when I was a...a child. I don't know what happened to it actually.
Mike: yeah hahaha
Owain: I certainly didn't save it
Mike: you hit your peak... at the age of 10... its decline since then
Owain: hahaha yeah it's declined with inflation...no that doesn't make sense... yeah okay you've got to make a decision...come on
Mike: I'm going to stick to my original thing which was but I'm going to go true...truth truth lie
Owain: truth truth lie...er, I'm going to get my sound box out..[incorrect answer sound]... there you go
Mike: oh I've got one of those...[incorrect answer sound]...
Owain: perfect there you go...er, you're wrong
Mike: ah, well…
Owain: I am actually a green belt in karate...I trained at the University of Liverpool and at the red triangle, well I went a few times it was too scary to go on a regular basis, er, and I did I did sing at Sting’s blessing, so I've never been bungee jumping I have no intention of going bungee jumping it was enough for me to go to a friend's, um, stag weekend and go karting that was enough for me that was adventurous enough I've got no... skydiving bungee jumping hang gliding no interest in doing these kinds of things
Mike: you don't have that itch to scratch…
Owain: no
Mike: you and me both
Owain: yeah yeah and I think I never have... I used to like jumping around the garden and jumping over fences pretending to be a stuntman but I'm not interested in almost killing myself
Mike: yeah in the name of fun
Owain: yeah no no it doesn't doesn't appeal to me
Mike: I'm with you on that
Owain: So there we go sorry Mike
Mike: so I got I got two...I got mine wrong...well I enjoyed that
Owain: yeah me too me too
Mike: ...that little revelation particularly because we do know each other...we've known each other for some time so any of the obvious ones would have been really... you know if I'd said I've got two sisters and a brother
Owain: yeah
Mike: you know that would be really easy... Or if I said to you that I...I play the guitar like Jimi Hendrix again you'd be like, well I know that's true.... tell me something I don't know
Owain: well I really enjoyed the one about the gym. I thought that was great I didn't know
Here are some of the bits of language that we at English Waffle think you may find interesting...
It’s quite foul (1:53)
If something is ‘foul’, it is disgusting or seriously unpleasant.
You can have a foul smell, or foul language or foul food.
I came out of kilter (4.42)
Not properly adjusted, not working well, out of balance. We will often say something is out of kilter when it is no longer working as it should be.
E.g. The computer is out of kilter. It doesn’t let me log on.
The cat is out the bag (5.44)
This idiom is used to mean that a secret has been revealed by mistake.
e.g. Mike let the cat out the bag about Sarah’s wedding date. (He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone but revealed the date of the wedding without intending to.)
To have second thoughts (10.25)
Maybe an obvious one, but means to change your mind about something or begin to doubt yourself. Other languages don’t have such a literal way of saying the same thing.
e.g. I wanted to be an Astronaut growing up, but when I realised how much work was involved, I had second thoughts.
Go with your gut instinct (13.21)
This one means to trust your first impressions of a situation, or your feeling. Follow your instincts as opposed to something supported by facts or opinions.
e.g. I went with my gut (instinct) and bought the funky yellow jacket I saw first
This episode's focus on Phonology is a common cluster which can be difficult to identify clearly in fast, natural speech.
a couple of , e.g. we went up for a couple of days to London
(14:46 - frequent three-word cluster)
“two or a few things” - In this context, Owain is being vague about how many days he spent in London, perhaps because he can’t really remember.
Phonemic script to show actual sounds:
for a couple of
/ fə rə kʌpl ə /
fuh ruh cupla
(See the top of the page or Photo Gallery for chart of stress patterns for the whole sentence)
AUDIO : original, full speed, squeezed (not currently available)
Now listen to how this phrase sounds with citation forms (the way words are spoken in isolation):
AUDIO: copy, incl. citation forms (not currently avalable)
Mike: hi listeners this episode of the Waffle is a little longer than the 10 minutes we're aiming for, as we found ourselves in full on waffle mode, in the zone as our American friends call it.
Owain: That's right yep I hope you guys enjoy listening and please visit our website English waffle dot co dot uk for the transcription of this episode and language analysis. happy waffling
Mike: Yeah and so welcome to the English waffle. what's the English waffle? we are a weekly podcast for English language learners, designed to help you improve your listening skills, listening to authentic conversations between two English because that's me myself, Mike, and you Owain.
Owain: yeah and not only can you listen to us talking but but we are also both language teachers which means that we going to help you out a little bit with some of the language by analysing what it is that we talked about and pointing out some of the perhaps more difficult features that you may not have understood.
Mike: yeah that's right so perhaps you guys listen already to Eng...maybe you live in an English-speaking country where English is around you but maybe you kind of feel a little bit at sea see a little bit lost when two people are speaking at a native level speed. so I guess that's where we started this right?
Owain: that's right yeah and the point is at the moment we're just coming up with random topics that we would like to talk about and perhaps going forward when we get a bit of feedback our listeners can tell us what they would like to us to talk about.
-------------------------------------------
Owain: Body hair is it a good thing or a bad thing? well I think it's just a part of nature first of all (festival)l I mean I think we as animals I’m not sure if it’s (on the service) to do with the fact that we’re animals or not but we have hair, right? I mean it's quite a useful phenomenon really keeps you warm in winter, traps air in between your skin and the hair and keeps you warm in the winter so I think it's a good thing. what about you?
Mike: yeah I'm glad I have hair I'm glad I have body hair. I quite... I perceive other people’s body hair as attractive or not attractive that's definitely a thing for me so. the other day I was on the underground in London and an attractive lady happened to come in and sit (nex…’next’) opposite me I and I kind of locked...we...you know I was reading my... why people don't look at each other on the underground.
Owain: right
Mike:... generally. but this particular woman I happened to just catch her eye...we locked in…
Owain: right ok, you locked in?
Mike: well, you know, there was a...there was some connection of sorts... she smiled and all she did was just lift up very slightly her skirt, she was wearing a long, a long dress sorry, not a skirt, she was wearing a long dress and she revealed , she revealed quite a lot of leg hair, like not just a few, not you know, not stubble, I'm talking like a thick furry like a man's leg you know.
Owain: wow
Mike: yeah and it was quite incongruous with... it was...it just didn’t... because she was wearing a nice flowery dress and quite feminine looking and then she revealed this hairy leg and it it's funny because your mind goes into...it shouldn't...That's the thing on reflection I was thinking why is that surprising...these are the pressures that women are under they have to shave their legs
Owain: yeah... ok so so that's a good... interesting situation and two things I think from the way you told it it sounds a little bit like she intentionally pulled her skirt up because you'd locked eyes it sounds a little bit like flirting I think we should clarify it's probably not what you were you were trying to say, right? it was just as you sit down your skirt comes up up.and and… that’s it...
Mike: Absolutely it wasn't a voluntary...no, sorry, there wasn’t any seductive nature flirtatiousness going on
Owain: no no
Mike: no thanks for clearing that up, that's definitely
Owain: I thought that I thought that was important. but no so this is one of the the interesting things about this whole body hair situation because on the one hand you've got our instincts when we see… and you use the word feminine... when you see a woman who's the expectation you have is that, at least from our point of view, that she's not going to have hairy legs. right... and with me when we see that she has got hairy legs, it's not what you expect and from my point of view I don't like it I have to be honest in this day and age it's quite a dangerous thing to say. I don't like women with hairy legs. I mean no sorry that sounds really bad it's not really what I want to say. I don't find hairy legs attractive on a woman I think is the the very careful phrasing of that idea, right?
Mike: yeah but and accurate because it's not like you don't you know it's not like you hold any personal judgement against them it's just that you're not attracted to them.
Owain: yeah exactly and that's a personal point of view
Mike: Right
Owain: yeah and he said Mike is it just saying it's not even something that I consciously think about it's just my natural response and as soon as I stop and think about it, like you, I think, well, you know, what does it matter, I mean, my my wife sometimes is quite busy and she doesn't necessarily have a lot of time to stop and shave her legs on a regular basis so sometimes they get a little hairy she won't thank me for saying this it's one of her secrets revealed but I think it's the same for many women, right?
Mike: Yeah yeah absolutely I've got quite a bit of you know, oth(er), life takes up quite a lot of time personal grooming is just one other thing you have to fit in
Owain: right right. I mean we are being very reasonable here Mike and and I think that's good but, um, have you spoken to anybody else about this? have you asked about opinions?
Mike: Owain, I haven't I've let myself down
Owain: you haven't?
Mike: this week have not. Not managed to talk to anyone about body hair but I thought that that anecdote alone would just get me through just a little bit.
Owain: well it's very similar to to one of my students and the story he told me about going to Canada where apparently there is a bit of a... I don't know if it's a feminist movement or or just the women for body hair movement… I don’t know if that's a thing... and he was quite surprised that...he saw this beautiful looking woman and basically looked down and saw that she had the hairiest legs he’d ever seen on a woman and he really was taken aback he was surprised and shocked and he wouldn't stop going on about it the whole class actually we spent most of the session talking about it could have been a bit uncomfortable.
Mike: yeah yeah, but again it's so much like how much we are ingrained into thinking something is it not? I mean the whole women body image with take for example the high street thing of getting your legs waxed, you know your legs waxed or your bikini bikini wax I think it's called where women are getting
Owain: for the bikini line
Mike: for the bikini line exactly that's fairly recent thing right that wasn't going on 50 years ago was it certainly wasn't going on 150 years ago as far as we know there's no documented…
Owain: I don't know in the UK but here in here in Spain certainly Madrid what I understand is is that there's are real the thing here for young people is to basically have no hair at all on your body that's the that's the thing
Mike: yeah which I find very unnatural
Owain: yeah it's a bit weird isn't it
Mike: isn't it I find it quite an infant infant infantilizing in other words the nature of bringing of making an adult appear to be like a child and that I find quite troubling
Owain: ok that's interesting because I wasn't thinking along those lines I was just thinking that it's it's... I suppose I always think of the futuristic dystopian films where you see people kind of of in extremes maybe everybody's got a shaven head or, you know or they've all got perfect bodies or you know because hair tends to make make you look less clean less I don't know I can't think of the word to describe it really but…
Mike: well it does…
Owain: ... it's just simpler isn't it
Mike: yeah but what it does do is it it cuts out any difference because hair by it's nature and the way we wear hair are and the way we have hair makes us different from each other
Owain: yeah, yeah good point
Mike: so…
Owain: no I hadn't thought of that
Mike: I well I hadn't until you said it
Owain: yeah, um, yeah so I mean there is one of course one group we're not really talking about because the controversy here is to do with women so if you if you you and and I think you you mentioned this before is that women feel that they can't have hairy legs because of people like us because we're... as we've said on this this this in this conversation you don't like it I don't like it so they can argue well because of people like us they have to shave their legs
Mike: yeah but and and I would say that they don't have to there are there are men who like that kind of thing, you know
Owain: are there? do you know any?
Mike: Not among my circle of friends but I think there there must be men who are particularly looking Owain the more I get older, you realise…
Owain: or women
Mike: ...there are a lot of people who want... who's got very niche fetishes but I don't think hair is one of them I don't think hair a hair fetish is it? it's just just what people want
Owain: I don't know... no yeah I mean I I think I think
Mike: we've got some really good vocabulary
Owain: so so women perhaps in this this issue perhaps suffer more than men because I don't even really think about shaving my legs you know I shave very rarely actually I kind of leave it to to couple of months after shave mine my beard that's about it it and the group that's really really left out though and I think are quite marginalised and suffer quite a lot are those guys who don't have any hair yeah so we're going back to Mike here
Mike: right
Owain: he actually doesn't have any hair he's never really had any hair on his legs he's got a few little patches little very very slight patches but that's it
Mike: yeah yeah I do feel sorry for Mike in that respect he must get cold in the Madrid winter no hair to keep him (thing / from ???)... but mate can I... this is it it it's going back to our... women ultimately are the ones who are, let's say, the victims of all this of this in a sense and... but then I think of people who's made a stand against this, people who’ve, who are public figures who've made a stand and against this people like in the past Frida Kahlo do you remem… Frida Kahlo, the Mexican artist…
Owain: yeah I remember her…
Mike: ....who famously wore her…
Owain: ... rather hairy eyebrows…
Mike: that's right so she had hairy eyebrows…
Owain: ... they joined up in the middle right?
Mike: that's right conjoined (holy?) eyebrows, but she also would wear... would have a a moustache have a little wisp of a moustache
Owain: oh really I didn't realise that
Mike: yeah and deliberately to say listen this is my femininity this is like it's not my expectation or the Mex… the time, you know, the expectations of men at the time of how how women should have... should look and I think I don't know I consider myself more and more a feminist right? in in life and…
Owain: oh I think we should all be feminists
Mike: yeah
Owain: or at least some some degree of feminist
Mike: I do think with the issue of body hair yeah I think my point is that we we we just yeah that oh god what is my point I mean I am attracted to to I'm attracted like you to to to women with shaved legs for sure
Owain: that's it so you’re you're part of the problem
Mike: I'm part of the problem
Owain: yep
Mike: but then I wouldn't yeah I wouldn't insist on them having that
Owain: ok that's a good point yeah yeah and it's certainly when you're in a relationship I don't think you can really I mean I mean you shouldn’t you should just say you don't want to have to shave your legs, fine
Mike: right
Owain: ok?
Mike: what about the face? Does Sandra have any kind of of fac... facial hair?
Owain: um, er, no not really
Mike: no ok
Owain: I mean I think I think all women especially the older they get the more facial hair is a problem but I'm think, erm, again we could talk about this couldn’t we facial hair is it is it a problem why why should women not have facial hair
Mike: it's bonkers you can't think of any reason other than well...
Owain: not really
Mike: no no
Owain: no, actually, I can think of one reason
Mike: yeah?
Owain: yeah I was...here in Spain obviously one of the things you do when you you say hello to people or you say goodbye to people is give kisses and typically between women they kiss each other on the cheek and between men and women you kiss each other once on each cheek but it's not so common for men but it happened to me the other day this...a father at at my son's school was saying goodbye and he surprised me and moved in in and did the two kisses
Mike: leaned in... I love that…
Owain: that was a surprise
Mike: I love that I mean I
Owain: what what?
Mike: we don't kiss but I do kiss a lot of mine friends on the cheek
Owain: yeah what guys?
Mike: Yeah
Owain: do you? oh ok
Mike: yeah it's just a thing
Owain: oh I don't at all. and what I realised is that facial hair is quite rough isn't it
Mike: yeah
Owain: and somebody kisses you on the cheek you really do get a good scratch
Mike: that's what Sandra’s experiencing day in day out with you the things she puts up with
Owain: right I'm going to shave... I'm going to shave today ok
Mike: don't... not for my sake just saying
Owain: not my legs just just my beard and my moustache
Mike: so she can still snuggle up to you and keep warm in in in there in your hairy legs hairy arms
Owain: exactly having said that maybe that's what we should do maybe we should shave our legs as an experiment and see what it's like
Mike: well you’d certainly go swimming faster
Owain: Actually that's a good point you don't get any swimmers with hairy legs do you?
Mike: not many not many
Owain: no
Mike: well Owain I think we've had add a very... we could have...we could go on for a long long time talking about body hair
Owain: I mean you mentioned Body Image as a possible topic... and and there's a lot to talk about yeah
Mike: so perhaps perhaps next time
Owain: I think that’s…
Mike: perhaps next time we can talk about other things we do or things we accessorize our bodies with like body art tattoos piercings all that stuff
Owain: ok yeah I've got some ideas about piercings I think yep... alright mate well I'll see you you next week
Mike: yeah yeah see you next week
Owain: have a good one
Mike: it's been a pleasure as always... take it easy
Owain: have fun waffling
Mike: yeah you too happy waffling
Here are some of the bits of Language that we at English Waffle think you may find interesting...
be taken aback (idiom) - [09:06]
she had the hairiest legs he’d ever seen on a woman and he really was taken aback he was surprised and shocked
Owain automatically accomodates (see Episode 3/Language Analysis) and provides an immediate explanation for ‘taken aback’: surprised, shocked.
https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/aback#aback_idmg_1
I don’t know if that's a thing [08.47]
(typical expression incl. ‘a thing’ (noun))
Owain, here, is referring to some kind of established genre - a thing - or, in this case, movement. (I don't know if it's a feminist movement or or just the women for body hair movement…)
Another example: Is that a thing nowadays?
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=a%20thing (definition 3)
'thing' is an incredibly versatile word. Check out all the other ways we use it: https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/thing#thing_vg_2
is/was wearing [04:26]
Listen to the audio clip below. Can you identify which tense Mike's continuous phrase is in?
You'll probably listen a few times before deciding one way or the other. That's what I did when I created the transcript.
See below for the answer and a discussion of its significance.
Mike: well, you know, there was a...there was some connection of sorts... she smiled and all she did was just lift up very slightly her skirt, she was wearing a long, a long dress sorry, not a skirt, she was wearing a long dress and she revealed , she revealed quite a lot of leg hair, like not just a few, not you know, not stubble, I'm talking like a thick furry like a man's leg you know.
Did you identify which version Mike said?
...is wearing...
...was wearing...
This is what I put in the transcript, but when I listen back I'm not so sure:
Mike: well, you know, there was a...there was some connection of sorts... she smiled and all she did was just lift up very slightly her skirt, she was wearing a long, a long dress sorry, not a skirt, she was wearing a long dress and she revealed , she revealed quite a lot of leg hair, like not just a few, not you know, not stubble, I'm talking like a thick furry like a man's leg you know.
Really it’s ‘she’s wearing’ and even Mike probably can’t say which he intended to say.
Why does this matter? Well, in order to get the gist of what he's saying it doesn't. But, in terms of using Mike (or any other native or highly proficient speaker) as a model for language learning it poses a slight problem, or perhaps, a solution, depending on your point of view.
The problem is that you don’t perceive a clear example of how he uses the Present Continuous as part of a narrative. Any clear grammar rules you have learnt for this reasonably basic situation are put into doubt:
- Is he using a past or present tense? If you look at the other verbs in his narrative you would assume it is the past.
- But can he use the present when telling a story about the past? (Yes)
- If he does, is it ok to switch between two different tenses? (It’s what he seems to be doing, so yes.)
The good news is that it actually doesn’t matter. As long as the key part of the phrase - a long...a long dress - is highlighted, we don’t even notice. Most likely the only people that will spot the difference are English Language Teachers.
What about this time?
And at this speed?
Mike: What's a peeve Owain, what's a pet peeve? We’re going do a...
Owain: oh sorry, I thought, I thought, oh no sorry I’ve thought about the wrong one then
Mike: yeah and so welcome to the English waffle. What's the English Waffle: we are a weekly podcast for English language learners designed to help you improve your listening skills listening to authentic conversations between two English speakers that's me, myself, Mike, and you Owain
Owain: yeah, and not only can you listen to us talking but we're also both language teachers which means that we're gonna (going to) help you out a little bit with some of the language by analysing what it is we talk about and, um, pointing out some of the perhaps more difficult features that you may not have understood
Mike: yeah that's right so perhaps you guys listen already to Eng… you, maybe you live English-speaking country where is English is around you but maybe you kind of feel a little bit at sea, little bit lost when two people are speaking at a native level speed so I guess that's where we started this right
Owain: that's right yeah yeah yeah and the point is at the moment we're just coming up with random topics that we we we would like to talk about and perhaps going forward when we get a bit of feedback our listeners can tell us what they'd like us to talk about
Mike: yeah for sure for sure so today's conversation we decided to talk about what are our pet peeves
Owain: what is that Mike what's a pet peeve?
Mike: yeah so a peeve is something that is maybe a bit annoying to most people but is really annoying or upsetting to you as an individual. That's what a pet peeve is isn't it? It's something that is more annoying to you than it is to anyone else.
Owain: right right yeah
Mike: I guess
Owain: perhaps we (can) come up with an example, er, I have actually prepared the wrong topic for this. I haven't really been thinking about it actually. I'm actually not a person who has really many pet peeves at all because I'm pretty easy going, nothing really bothers me that much and I'm really gonna I'm going to take a couple of minutes now while you go through one of yours
Mike: yeah sure
Owain: while I think about what it is the really annoys me, the kinds of things that, for no real reason get on my nerves and I'll have a think about it you go ahead
Mike: yeah alright so, my first pet peeve is being called sir in a restaurant and particularly in a restaurant but I guess anywhere. I know to others that might sound absurd you’re like, "Mike, it's just a role that people play, they’re being polite, they’re being formal..." but for me there's something... I find it really very antiquated I suppose and I don't feel comfortable I feel really uncomfortable with with them, with either a waiter or a shopkeeper or whoever it is calling me sir. I just want them to call me, I just...I don't know... or boss even...in England we have that kind of term ‘boss’, ‘alright boss’ There's something that just..just grates
Owain: but that's a little different though isn’t it? Cuz ‘boss’ When someone says to you boss they are not saying it's not really connected to... it's not really a term of respect is it? it's quite informal it's quite affectionate ‘s-sii’r is different because it creates difference you've come into the particular restaurant and I'm here to serve you is basically what they're saying
Mike: yeah no you're right I find them both annoying but for different reasons you're absolutely right the distance that's created by being called sir no I don't like it
Owain: yeah interesting yeah ok, um, that doesn't affect me at all I think I quite like it actually because for once in my life if I'm, er... I don't often go to restaurants where people call me sir to be honest certainly here in Spain anyway because I live in Madrid you don't get that very often you know it's like ‘hello’ ‘how you doing’ yeah ‘what do you want’?
Mike: yeah right right much more direct
Owain: well I mean it depends on the restaurant I suppose obviously but yeah yeah I don't I don't get that very often and and how often does that happen to you Mike? do you get called sir and and do you do anything about it? Do you day anything?
Mike: I do I do do I I I've recently taken to saying I'm OK thanks you don't have to call me sir I'm Mike... so my second peeve Owain…
Owain: hold on hold on a minute what about me?
Mike: oh you want one? I thought it was one, two, and three I don't know... what's the format?
Owain I think it would be yeah let me have one let me have a go ok so as you know I don't drive I've never driven I haven't even got a licence actually and one of the things that I find really annoying... I suppose this is a pet peeve... is walking down the street Coming to a crossing here Madrid there lots of zebra crossings and just being absolutely terrified of crossing the street because you you I mean it's not quite like India or somewhere like that but you you get to the edge of the pavement...no I think I'm exaggerating...you get to edge of the payment, you start to cross the road the car’s coming, and I'm never sure if they're actually going to stop yeah and and they always do actually so it's completely irrational but I'm just annoyed by the fact that they will always sometimes even accelerate up to the crossing and then brake or just
Mike: yeah yeah
Owain: ...or just be looking the other way and not see you and then at the last minute they'll look forward and and they'll break suddenly and I'm just thinking the whole time I'm do you not care that I'm crossing the road and that I actually have no idea if you're going to stop and actually once one guy shouted out the window... because he saw me looking rather distastefully at what he was doing... and he said well yeah I saw you I was going to stop and I said well yeah you know that but I've got no idea
Mike: yeah people, eh?
Owain: has that ever happened to you, or not?
Mike: yeah no all the time and ID say it's more common in Spain perhaps having been there a bit as well I said that we...we call them zebra crossings in England and and because they're black and white, they look like a zebra
Owain: I think that's what they're called here as well
Mike: while we do sometimes have that same fear that people aren't going to stop generally they’re more I suppose a little bit more respectful of pedestrian crossings here...so, I I don't like the fact that coffee nowadays is is sold in pretty much every place you go I find it... I find everywhere you go So like if you're going shopping for, if you're going to the bike shop to get your bike mended You'll find like annexed to the Bike Shop is a coffee shop or a place that sells coffee Likewise if you going to take your library book back and all you want to do is maybe sit in the library and read a book and you get told are you buying a coffee sir and that's a double pet peeve in one you get told in the library are you buying a coffee sir and I'm just like oh this is just the worst thing ever.
Owain: two of your pet peeves
Mike: and that happened to me last week and I said no I'm not I'm just here to read a book and they they it’s just it's just happy but I get it because businesses need to make money coffee is one of the few things that people buy all the time I'm but what it why it's a pet peeve to me is because it it stops it becoming special stops it becoming a treat if it's every where so you end up with coffee everywhere it becomes like a commodity so that annoys me
Owain: can we just just this was a bookshop did you say or library
Mike: it was a library but they also have them in bookshops
Owain: because the thing about a library is that it's not really a business is it?
Mike: No
Owain: until you bring in in coffee it's not a business so you I'm surprised by that...when I go to a library and not really expecting to spend any money so I think I would find that quite annoying as well because I think if all of a sudden I had to make this financial decision when all I want to do is read a book
Mike: Yeah yeah well that's it I mean there was other spa...there just happened not to be any other spaces in the library to sit so had to sit in the bid which was which was owned by the cafe and I didn't even know there was a cafe in the library until I was asked do you want a coffee sir and I thought oh god that's like two of my worst pet peeves in one but I was very nice to them listeners just saying I wasn’t rude I don't... that's probably my third pet peeve rudeness because I think that people can be it costs nothing to be respectful and to you know to talk to people with respect I just I think that we should all do that a little bit more
Owain: I agree Mike absolutely agree yeah yeah there's no need for impoliteness at all one of the things that annoys me is basically just the the contradiction when it comes to technology you've got a piece of technology she's thoroughly designed scientifically thought through and then when it comes to actually using it for some reason or other do it never does what you're expecting it to do do or something that does sometimes it doesn't and I find it difficult to get my head around and it annoys me that a computer doesn't just do do what it's supposed to do do every time
Mike: can you give me an example?
Owain: er, yes, um Mike trying to set up his microphone plugging into the computer and not knowing why it doesn't work maybe that's not a pet peeve maybe that's Mike that's annoying me not the technology
Mike: yeah I was going to say that’s don't blame the tools mate blame the person yeah yeah oh well technology yeah technology and our shortcomings towards it that's that's a big topic perhaps that's one for next week Owain.
Owain: yeah maybe I think technology is a big thing to talk about yeah ok well it's been
Mike: yeah but well it's been a pleasure talking to you Oast as usual
Owain: yep and hopefully we got some interesting language there for our listeners
Mike: Yeah yeah, until the next time (when) we'll talk about technology and our shortcomings towards it
Owain: yeah that's good yeah
Mike: Alright
Owain: alright have a good day
Mike: you too bud
Here are some of the bits of Language that we at English Waffle think you may find interesting...
pet peeve (n) [02:16]
something that especially annoys you (but may not be annoying for others)
E.g. being called ‘sir’ in restaurants (one of Mike’s - listen again to here this example)
point out (ph vb) [01:22]
To highlight something so that someone else can see it, e.g. “As we travelled around the city, the tour guide pointed out any interesting sights.” - This is quite a literal meaning of the phrase, so is actually more like a multi-word verb made up of point (vb) + out (adv).
But, it also has a more metaphorical meaning:
to tell someone about some information, often because you believe they do not know it or have forgotten it, e.g. “Mike pointed out that a pet peeve is more annoying to you than it is to anyone else.”
(feel) at sea [01:37]
Confused, e.g. She felt at sea at her new school. In this episode, Mike is explaining the purpose of this podcast and suggest one reason why someone might listen:
you kind of feel a little bit at sea,
little bit lost when two people are speaking at a native level speed
While he’s explaining, he quite rightly identifies ‘feel a little bit at sea’ as a choice of words which may be difficult for you to understand, and immediately, almost without thinking, he reformulates to a potentially simpler phrase, ‘little bit lost’. ‘To feel lost’ is likely to be more easily understood by more people and ‘little’ is actually redundant when you have ‘bit’.
Pron tip:
‘at sea’ - notice that Mike doesn’t say ‘at’ with an open ‘a’ /æ/ sound; he uses a neutral /ə/ sound, the Schwa (the most common vowel sound in the English language, so you should be familiar with it). Not sure what it sounds like? Have a watch here and then go back to the podcast to listen and compare.
Communication tip:
Higher-level language users quite often ‘accomodate’ lower-level users during an interaction if they detect difficulty in understanding. One way to do this is to reformulate in the way Mike has here ('feel lost' instead of 'feel at sea'). It is quite a natural strategy for those who want to improve communication. However, some people are either not aware that it is necessary or are incapable of doing it successfully.
Look out for more examples of this in other episodes!
get on my nerves [03:16]
To annoy someone a lot, e.g. One thing that gets on my nerves (really annoys me) is when drivers break at the last minute before stopping at a pedestrian crossing
I'm going to take a couple of minutes now while you go through one of yours.
See Language Analysis: episode 1 for comments on ‘a couple of’
Mike: yeah alright so, my first pet peeve is being called sir in a restaurant and particularly in a restaurant but I guess anywhere. I know to others that might sound absurd you’re like, "Mike, it's just a role that people play, they’re being polite, they’re being formal..." but for me there’s something...I find it really very antiquated I suppose and I don't feel comfortable I feel really uncomfortable with with them, with either a waiter or a shopkeeper or whoever it is calling me sir. I just want them to call me, I just...I don't know... or boss even...in England we have that kind of term ‘boss’, ‘alright boss’ There's something that just..just grates [03:23 - 04:23]
Real spoken language is messy. It really is. If you spend any time looking at transcripts of what people actually say in conversation when they’re speaking spontaneously, it’s often quite disorganised and, unsurprisingly, difficult to follow, particularly if it’s not your first language.
An important reason to be aware of a lot of these features is to avoid getting distracted from what people are actually saying: the content of their utterances. Sometimes these features help the listener, for example, repetition and pausing; sometimes they don’t, for example, not finishing ideas, changing direction, or inserting additional information halfway through an idea.
Mike: You're getting green fingered as the expression goes.
Owain: I'm getting green fingered
Mike: is that the expression? you're getting green fingers I think is is
Owain: I'm becoming…
Mike: there's an expression there I don't know what it is we’ll get back to you
[theme music ]
Mike: Why don't we take naps in England? we take naps in S ...do ...you used to live in Spain, Do people still...[inaudible]
Owain: Not really not as much as people think... the tradition has kind of died out because people don't have time, you know, just like in many parts of the world you've got to get back to work haven't you
Mike: yeah that's the thing isn't it sort of Spanish businesses working with the rest of the world they can't say well we're just going to go for a 2-hour siesta now we'll be back at 4
Owain: no no I mean well I suppose in smaller places it still exists but but typically most people follow a similar... I mean maybe now they are quite strict about timing of their lunch and some some people in some companies even are pretty generous about how much time they give themselves for lunch
Mike: well you might be wondering why we're talking about siestas
Owain: yeah I'm wondering
Mike: Well because we had... earlier we had before lunch we went into the garden...didn't we... we entered the garden and you were telling me about the work (that) you were doing in your garden
Owain: Yes yes I was it's a new hobby actually…
Mike: oh yeah
Owain: I’ve become... well basically just to explain I’ve spent a long time living in a city and I haven't had the opportunity to to be in a garden open your door walk straight out into the garden and certainly not actually do any work in the garden and luckily or or depends on your point of view might be unlucky for some people my dad has given me the job I'm doing a bit of work as done to help him out so…
Mike: excellent
Owain: ...so I'm there are pretty much everyday I'm going out I'm rolling up my sleeves I've got my gloves on, I’m cutting trees down and bushes and digging up the soil weeding and it feels good.
Mike: has he given you you has he give you directions on what he he what he wants or or you you kind of this is your vision
Owain: reluctantly yeah he he explain to me first of all (sounds like 'festival') he doesn't really know what he wants and he finds it very difficult for that reason to explain to me what he’d like me to do but in the end he came round, and he said...he took me around the house and then different parts of the garden and said look I want to do this here, I want to do that here so I kind of made a list of some things I’m supposed to do
Mike: That's great you're getting green fingered as the expression goes.
Owain: I'm getting green fingered
Mike: is that the expression? you're getting green fingers I think is is
Owain: I'm becoming…
Mike: there's an expression there I don't know what it is we’ll get back to you
Owain: I'm developing my green fingers
Mike: that sounds that sounds more natural yet I'm developing my green fingers
Owain: yeah that's perhaps we can we can explain that one that one in the in the behind the paywall later on at some point
Mike: absolutely... but you enjoy gardening and maybe is this a thing that you’re...getting into
Owain: well hold on, we’ll come back to me, And I'll explain how I feel about the garden
Mike: yep ok
Owain: ok what about you though Mike? do you spend much time in a garden?
Mike: well Owain I as you know live in London and unless you're mega mega wealthy I mean we're talking mega bucks, we're talking like just like...very few people have their own garden some people have have they have a little tiny little space that they can call a garden but basically gardens of all the mega rich in London right? and so what I have is the next best thing which is a balcony on which I've got some hanging baskets and some pots and then inside those pots, inside hanging baskets I grow herbs, a bit of few vegetables sometimes
Owain: really?
Mike: yeah, yeah I've grown mint
Owain: ok
Mike: which I've put in my mojitos
Owain: ok what else
Mike: spice up. I've grown some thyme like the herb, that's time t-h-y-m-e rather than time as in what ‘what is the time?’
Owain: right yep, that is an important distinction
Mike: yep, so time is a very...it's a medicinal herb that's good for or when you get sore throats when you get a cold you have thyme in your tea and it's really good
Owain: yeah and it appears in in the song, traditional English song Scarborough Fair
Mike: oh does it?
Owain: rosemary
Mike: Rosemary and Thyme, yeah yeah
Owain: I can't remember it, I can’t remember the other lyrics
Mike: Simon and Garfunkel
Owain: Yep, rosemary, sage, parsnip, no that’s not it, parsley and thyme
Mike: It definitely appears in the folk song
Owain: it's good for you as well right
Mike: it's really good for you
Owain: Yeah
Mike: yeah yeah yeah so I've had mixed results, I tend to to go away quite a lot and and with... I basically tend to go away and I forget about the garden so I do come back and realise I've killed everything... it's not a great feeling for the ego, It's not really a great feeling all, all...
Owain: yeah but that's life though isn't it I mean things die so so imagine you come back, they're all dead, what do you do? you plant some more right?
Mike: Plant some more, yeah I think I just need to get a little more organised about saying, you know, asking my neighbours to water my plants while I'm away for example
Owain: oh yeah that would be an idea
Mike: that would be good wouldn’t it
Owain: that's what usually happens
Mike: yeah, yeah you don't you don't leave your kid alone and then come back and so oh well we'll just have another one that's not how it works is it? yeah mixed results... this child raising business
Owain: interesting analogy there Mike
Mike: but you know it's looking after, being responsible for something else isn't it?
Owain: well it's interesting because you're kind of taking... at you're looking at plants your little garden has something that you actually have to nurture and keep alive and it depends on you to survive and to thrive in my case it's the other way round actually
Mike: oh yeah
Owain: my battle seems to have been essentially keeping nature in its place pretty much that's that's just in the short time I've been here at my dad's house looking after his garden I've I've realised what... how powerful nature is is and how much work it is just to keep it in in order
Mike: yeah in check
Owain: in check yeah exactly and to to keep it tidy organised and and it's actually become a bit of an obsession
Mike: yeah do you have a lot of weeds in the garden?
Owain: yep yeah I've been doing a lot of weeding and that's really time consuming and and really detailed work and... but satisfying so I mean at the end of the day I’ve been out in the garden, working, using my body and I finish really satisfied and actually it's quite embarrassing to admit it but I keep going to the window and looking out and seeing the results of my handy work
Mike: Yeah why is that embarrassing?
Owain: I don't know
Mike: that's not embarrassing
Owain: kind of… but satisfying
Mike: yeah, that's great I mean I mean gardening is a therapeutic thing isn't it... why are you laughing
Owain: actually it does feel a bit like therapy In the sense that you're outside you're breathing in fresh air if you’re in the countryside and it it... I don't know why... actually it's a good point why is it therapeutic? I mean it feels good
Mike: yeah I think for me it’s about looking after something that's that's taking responsibility for something else that's what it comes down to
Owain: yeah... yeah yeah I don't feel for me it's more about killing things…
Mike: really?
Owain: ...cutting them down yeah
Mike: oh ok
Owain: yeah
Mike: yeah yeah I like gr... watching something grow
Owain: ok well yeah alright different perspectives
Mike: Yeah, gardening
Owain: Ok well, yeah well what do you think this is something that you you I mean would you like to have a garden of your own like a…
Mike: I'd love to have a garden on my own yeah
Owain: really?
Mike: yeah yeah I tell you what I would like is a... a garden which I could I tell you what I wouldn't like let's start there... even if I had lots of money what I wouldn't like is a garden where everything came on automatically the kind of automatic sprinklers and things like that because my uncle has that
Owain: does he?
Mike: yeah he does Yeah he has a really... big garden in France in his house and he takes great pride in showing me that everything's done on a timer and it's all technology and it starts everything for me the Joy I've been in the garden is getting...working with your hands and getting out there air and getting a bit dirty
Owain: but it's a lot of work though I can I can understand your uncle he may I mean perhaps a few years ago he may have started the same idea yeah I'm going to do it myself everyday I'm going to be out in the garden I... just like my dad he's he's like it's just too much can't deal with it all because as as I was saying before it's kind of a battle... the garden keeps coming back and…
Mike: right ok
Owain: and you you can't leave it untended because it I'll just come back, it’ll grow, weeds’ll come back, trees grow out of control they start destroying your greenhouse etc etc I mean nature is alive and kicking and and you leave it to its own devices and it'll take over
Mike: yeah yeah so maybe it's a it's a it's a gap between what I think how it's going to be and the reality
Owain: yeah I suppose that's great thing I mean you are idealistic you think, you know, this is this is is the idea of having a garden is pretty powerful and…
Mike: it's a bit like having a dog like I know the idea of having a dog is better than the reality really…I’ve accepted that.
Owain: really? have you thought about it?
Mike: yep yeah oh yeah yeah I’ve thought about that a lot I don’t know why finding a funny
Owain: I can't imagine you having a dog
Mike: I'd love to have a dog
Owain: Yeah?
Mike: You’re kidding me
Owain: what would you call it
Mike: I don't know I'd have to have a look at the face first... the name fits the face doesn't it but I think having a dog sounds... and everything about having a dog conceptionally is great... they are the most loyal creatures, they give you... they make you feel great, everyone who says that they have a dog, it’s like, it’s like you’ve done, it’s like you could’ve come ho...you could’ve had a day in which you maybe you know you weren’t very kind to someone or maybe you didn’t pay your bus fare or whatever it is, all these things highly unlikely in my case but you come back and your dog give you the best welcome as if you like the best human being ever everyday because that's what dogs do
Owain: yeah yeah... they do some other things as well don't they
Mike: and um...what do they do?
Owain: well I'm just thinking about my garden I'm thinking about how...what a mess that dog would make of my garden...
Mike: You could train it...
Owain: selfish I know
Mike: no not selfish at all
Owain: ...digging, burying bones, shitting in the garden, you know, there it is, it's ruined
Mike: yeah for your garden
Owain: for my garden
Mike: yeah, it's true actually I hadn't thought... the the... the botanical garden against the dog the dog he's going to go mental isn't it the dog’s just gonna think that’s something to play with but I think yeah
Owain: yeah well I think before before you know we going to the topic because you know pets is a whole other story isn't it like children
Mike: yeah the benefits of pets over children and vice versa that'd be a good one let's do that
Owain: alright well…
Mike: I saw our friends over at Rock and Roll English has... have done one on... on have done a podcast on dogs…
Owain: Really? Really?
Mike: ...on our furry legged friends, so it's yeah it's hot. for me, I'm on a dating website... no no this is relevant to the topic…
Owain: dodgy dodgy Segway
Mike: yeah the Segway is this every... it's so it's so common to find women who reference their dogs and like who... yeah who say if i(t) … You'd better like dogs otherwise this isn’t going to work
Owain: who would have thought it
Mike: yeah
Owain: oh well I suppose yeah yeah it's an important point
Mike: so…
Owain: so well I think on that note Mike we’ll…
Mike: we've gone from gardening…
Owain: yeah
Mike: ...to dogs
Owain: yep
Mike: ... to dating... briefly
Owain: which is all related to gardening if you think about it
Mike: yeah haha, is it?
Owain: well you might want to go on a date and then go and sit in the garden
Mike: Yeah ok
Owain: ...with your date
Mike: Yeah or the…
Owain: it's a stretch I know but...
Mike: stroke the dog in the garden with your date
Owain: it's a good job we didn't get on to talk about cats then isn't it
Mike: yeah, well it's been a pleasure as always on the English Waffle we'll waffle on about something else next week
Owain: alright Mike, good to speak to you
Mike: you too... happy waffling
Owain: happy waffling
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